


Yesterday

by TammyRenH



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys Kissing, Drinking, Friends to Lovers, Jensen POV, M/M, Swearing, a little angst a little fluff, hurt!Jensen, musician!Jensen, well Jared was already in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-25 19:49:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21361735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TammyRenH/pseuds/TammyRenH
Summary: Very, very (very) loosely based on the movie with the same title.  Jensen wakes up in a world that no longer remembers The Beatles or their music  He’s struggled for years to make it as a musician, and by claiming the Beatles music as his own, experiences a meteoric rise to fame. He’s suddenly on TV, has two scary new managers, is making an album and is about to perform at Madison Freaking Garden.  So why is it all he can think about is his best friend that he left behind?You don’t need to have seen the movie to understand this fic, at it’s core it is just another J2 love story, with a heavy dose of musician!Jensen.
Relationships: ( minor relationship), Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Matt Cohen/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57
Collections: SPN Cinema





	1. Chapter 1

He woke up to the sound of music.

No, not music. 

Machines whirring, a ping like someone just got a message on their phone, a rumbling sound like a cart being pushed.

He wasn’t being rained on anymore.

He wasn’t outside, wasn’t on his bike.

He sat up, heart racing fast.

“Woah!” Jared’s voice, piercing through his panic. “Woah, Jen – hey take it easy man. Let me just – “

Jensen turned his eyes to the sound of the voice. Jared’s large body crammed into a too small chair, wearing the same clothes as he last saw him in, but now crumpled, like he slept in them. He had dark circles under his eyes. “You look awful.”

Jared, who was pushing the on-call button, gave a startled snort of a laugh. “If you think I look bad, wait until you look into a mirror.” There was the tinny sound of someone asking what was needed. “Please send someone in here.” Jared said to the tinny voice. “He’s awake.”

As Jensen’s heartbeat slowed down, he came to realize he was in a hospital bed. There was a blood pressure cuff on his arm. An IV in his other arm. A machine with his vital signs in red close by.

“Why don’t you lie back down until the medical professionals check you out huh?” Jared asked, gently pushing his shoulder, guiding him to lie back down. “You don’t want to do any more damage.”

“Did I hurt my face?” Jensen asked. He felt a general achiness all around, his head felt like he had split it open, and his chin felt like someone had hit it, several times.

“Nothing permanent, but yeah some. It was the concussion that worried us – them.“ Jared leaned back in the chair, smiling at Jensen. “You didn’t really fracture anything; you have always been a lucky son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, lucky – my middle name.” Jensen felt something odd as he talked and poked his tongue through it. He had lost a tooth. “What happened to my tooth?”

“You decided to tag someone’s car with your face.” Jared answered. “It’s okay, it can be fixed.” A knock on the door and then two people dressed in yellow scrubs and one in blue came in. “But you know how you were always the prettiest boy in the room? Not true anymore. Now I get to be the pretty boy. I am going to relish being the pretty one. You can just lay there and be unpretty.”

Underneath the teasing, Jensen could sense the relief Jared was feeling. Somehow, just the fact that Jared considered him well enough to tease was enough for Jensen to know everything was going to be fine.

The nurses had been checking his vitals while his doctor had been quietly conferring with them. One of them turned toward Jared .”Do you mind waiting outside Your Prettiness? We need to examine the patient.”

“Yeah, I have some calls to make. Your parents just went down to the cafeteria, they’ll be right back. Hey Jensen – “ Jared said as the nurse practically pushed him toward the door. “I’m glad you woke up. You gave us all a scare. And I’m sorry about – about before.”

Jared was in the hallway, looking back at him. He was talking about the fight, the one that led to Jensen taking his bike home instead of riding back with Jared. The reason he was on his bike during that sudden strange storm. Jensen was going to tell Jared that the fight was already forgotten , but the nurse firmly shut the door before he could.

That’s okay, Jensen thought as the doctor began his examination, hw would see him again soon.

**Three Days Later **

He still looked like his face had been the punching bag of someone very big and very angry, and his temporary tooth felt weird, but he was out of the hospital and meeting his friends for lunch, so not too bad for someone hit by a car just three days before. Well technically he hit the car but whatever.

“Jensen!” Jared got up from a picnic table not far from where the Uber driver had dropped Jensen off. Jared ran to him, pulling him into a hug before wrapping his arm around Jensen’s shoulder and facing Chad, Sophie and Matt. “So, who is the pretty boy now?” He asked.

Chad just snorted; Sophie tolled her eyes. “You, absolutely you.” Matt replied.

“Jared – “ Jensen began, laughing as he tried to pull away from his octopus-limbed friend.

“Let the man sit down, Jared.” Chad ordered. “If he feels as bad as he looks, he needs to get off his feet.”

“Thanks Chad really.” Jensen replied, as Jared led him to a picnic table. The park was by a lake, a family of ducks swimming near the shore. The sun was out. There was beer and snacks on the table. Jensen felt very lucky to be alive and to be here with his friends.

As he settled into the picnic table and accepted the beer Sophie offered him, Jensen glanced at Matt. He was looking at Jared with such – longing maybe. Something intense anyway. Jared, settling beside Jensen, didn’t seem to notice. Jensen took a swig of his beer and turned toward Jared. Jared’s smile was wide, dimples out in full display, his eyes were blue today, reflecting the color of the lake.

“So, we got you something.” Jared stated after a moment. Jensen realized he had been staring and took another quick pull off of his beer.

“Jared, we were going to wait.” Sophie chided. “We had a whole plan, remember?”

“I’ve never been good at waiting.” Jared reached underneath the picnic table and pulled out a very large, very badly wrapped and very bulky package. “For you.”

“It’s a thanks for not being dead present.” Chad chimed in. “If something happened to you, one of us would have to deal with Jared full time. You can imagine how relieved we are that you survived your accident.”

Jared threw a bag of chips at Chad, Chad caught them with one hand and tore them open with his teeth. “Heathens!” Sophie commented, and held her hand out for some of the BBQ chips.

“Well don’t just sit there like a lump, open it.” Jared jostled Jensen’s shoulder with his own. Jensen winced a bit at the contact, nothing was broken but his whole body felt like one huge bruise, before tearing at the wrapping.

It was a Baby Martin acoustic guitar. It was a beauty, well made, mahogany wood, meant for traveling. It had to cost them a pretty penny. “Guys, I can’t accept this.” Jensen said, trying to put it back into the case.

“Sure, you can. I got a bargain at the music store. Mark there likes me.” Jared replied.

“Mark there wants to sleep with you.” Chad commented, mouth full of chips.

Jared flipped Chad the bird and kept talking. “And I promise, this isn’t me pressuring you to go on performing. I respect your decision to stop, I should have said that from the beginning instead of trying to change your mind. That was wrong of me. But you without music – well it wouldn’t be you. Keep it, play it for yourself, play it at school for my students, teach kids how to play guitar. Whatever. We just wanted you to have this.”

Jared had been his manager for almost six years now. Jensen knew it was as hard for Jared to give up Jensen’s dream as it was for Jensen. He also knew that when Jared protested him giving up gigging, he was doing it because he believed in Jensen and his music. It was hard for both of them to admit that sometimes dreams just don’t come true.

But today was not a day to be sad about lost dreams. It was a day to be in the here and now. He would dream a new dream tomorrow.

“Play something for us.” Sophie requested.

“Yeah, show up what you got hot stuff.” Chad urged. “Let’s see if you are as good as my former asshole employers.”

Chad had worked as a roadie for Kaleo for exactly one week. He had taken Jensen backstage to show off the guitars and the band at the same festival Jensen was booked to play in a tent for. Chad had forgotten he was supposed to be handing the lead guitarist guitars as songs finished. Chad no longer had his job. But Jensen had a glimpse as to what real stardom was like – a crowd full of happy bouncing people, singing along to the songs, the band and the crowd making so much noise that Jensen could feel the vibrations backstage. His biggest crowd had been a dozen teenage girls at a birthday party who had spent the entire time giggling about his freckles. That and whenever Jensen played at Jared’s school. Six years of small bars, bored wedding guests, empty tents at festivals. And the night he decided to give it all up, the world had gone haywire. He had been riding his bike home after fighting with Jared about quitting music, everything had stopped except for him, his bike had kept going and when the world restarted amid lightning and fierce winds he had ridden right in front of a car and wham, bam, woke up in the hospital, with a smashed guitar and an equally smashed face .

“Earth to Jensen.” Matt said, teasingly. “Play us a song music man.”

Jensen strummed the guitar, humming a bit to himself. It was in tune; it had a nice crisp sound to it. He missed the guitar that had been smashed in the wreck, his grandfather had given it to him almost a decade earlier. It had been through a lot with him, and it had looked like it. It hadn’t been pretty, but it been his constant companion for so long it’s loss was like missing a limb. But this guitar had promise.

He strummed a bit more and then settled on a simple, familiar melody. He sang quietly as he played.

_Yesterday_

_All my troubles seemed so far away_

_Now it looks like they’re here to stay_

_Oh, I believe in yesterday._

He looked up. Jared was staring at him intently. Sophie was resting her head on Chad’s shoulder, both looking at him. Matt was looking at Jared but quickly turned his attention to Jensen when he realized Jensen’s eyes were on him.

_Why she had to go I don’t know she wouldn’t say_

_I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday _

A few other park visitors had stopped to listen. The sun was warm on his back. Jared was straddling the bench, now facing him.

_Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play_

_Now I need a place to hide away_

_Oh, I believe in yesterday._

He finished the song and looked back at Jared. He was surprised to see there were tears in Jared’s eyes.

“Wow” Jared said, blinking several times to clear his vision.

  
“You’ve been playing that crappy Safety Pin song and you’ve had this in your pocket the whole time?” Chad asked.

“It was really good.” Matt said.

“Don’t act so surprised. Jensen’s songs are always good. Yes, even the Safety Pin song Chad.” Jared defended.

“Well I mean It’s not Matchbox 20 but yeah, I really liked it. Did you write it in the hospital?” Sophie asked

Jensen chuckled as he put the guitar back in the case. “Yeah that and then I time traveled even further back and wrote “Jailhouse Rock” while I was at it.”

“I don’t – “ Matt started, frowning. “So, you wrote it a long time ago and just never played it?”

“I am sure I’d remember if you’d played this one before. “ Jared chimed in. “You must have written it in the hospital.”

“Okay Paul McCartney is going to be very upset that none of you are giving him credit for his work.” Jensen chided. He didn’t really understand the joke they were all playing, but then he had hit his head pretty hard.

Jared was picking up the torn wrapping paper. “I don’t think I know him, and I thought I knew everyone you know. Did you meet him online?”

Three identically confused blank faces were looking at him. “You guys think you are so funny.”

“I guess if that Paul wrote it, he should record it. Cause it’s very good.” Jared added.

“He did record it.” Jensen found himself thinking this must have been exactly how Alice felt when she tumbled into the rabbit hole. “With the Beatles. What is wrong with you guys? Something in the beer?”

“The Beatles.” Sophie echoed. “Never heard of them. Are they any good? Are they on iTunes?”

“You guys are going to sit there and tell with me with straight faces that you have never heard of the Beatles.” Jensen was starting to get frustrated; the joke had gone on too long and was never funny in the first place.

Two shakes of head, one shrug of shoulders.

“I think I need another beer.” Jensen grabbed his second one.

An hour later he was at his apartment (okay it was over his parent’s garage, sue him, being an unknown barely paid musician was hard) looking up the Beatles.

Pictures of bugs popped up, along with “did you mean beetles?”

The BEATLES – Jensen typed the name of the group in all capitals to distinguish it from bugs.

Same result.

Jensen typed in John, Paul, George and Ringo.

Many popes, a few television stars, a lot of pictures of rings.

Paul McCartney brought him pictures of people who were not Sir Paul McCartney.

Jensen sat back in the chair, dumbfounded.

Something had happened. Somehow, he was the only person in the world who knew who the Beatles were.

The question was, had the world gone crazy, or had he?


	2. Chapter 2

“Hold on, I need to make sure the camera is getting the best possible view of you. Thank God the bruises are healing, and you don’t look so ugly.” Jared commented, fussing with the iPhone like it was a Nikon. 

“Bite me.” Jensen responded automatically. He was sitting on the stage of the school Jared taught at, which had let out for the day. He had his new guitar and a microphone in front of him. And after much deliberation, he had picked a song to sing. He wanted to put it out there if possible, wanted to see if he was really the only person who remembered the Beatles.

“And yet every time I try, you get all huffy.” Jared answered, with a wink. Jensen could feel his face flush. The stage lights must be hot.

“Can we just get this over with?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just let me – “ Jared walked back to the lighting panel and made a few adjustments that Jensen couldn’t tell made any difference, but Jared seemed to be satisfied with. “As soon as we get finished, I am going to upload this to my Instagram.”

“Your ten followers will be very excited.” Jensen deadpanned. “I thought we were putting this on YouTube.”

“Like you even know what YouTube is.”

“The one with all the funny cat videos. And classic rock.” Jensen responded, hunched over and strumming the guitar aimlessly as he waited for Jared to set up. But no Beatles music on YouTube, no Beatles concerts. Jensen had checked.

“Okay, I am ready when you are.” Jared announced.

“Finally, I was growing old waiting.” Jensen sat up, straightened his shoulders.

“Like you aren’t already old.” Jared retorted and then held out three fingers before Jensen could respond.

Three, two one

_Help, I need somebody_

_Help, not just anybody_

_Help, you know I need someone. Help._

Jensen was looking into those multi-colored, ever-changing eyes as Jared held the phone up and gave him a thumbs up with his other hand.

_Help me if you can, I’m feeling down_

_And I do appreciate you being round_

_Help me get my feet back on the ground_

_Won’t you please, please help me._

He couldn’t take his eyes off of Jared. He knew he was supposed to be playing toward the camera, to the unknown people who might, perhaps, watch the video. But it almost felt like the world had melted away, leaving just him and Jared behind.

_When I was younger, so much younger than today_

_I never needed anybody’s help in any way_

_But now those days are gone, I’m not so self=assured_

_Now I find, I’ve changed my mind and opened up the door_

The beat wasn’t as fast as when the Beatles sang it, and he missed the counter melody, but it was still the Beatles words, still the Beatles tune, still Jensen putting their song into the universe. 

_Help me get my feet back on the ground_

_Won’t you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh_

There was silence and then -

“Oops, I have to – “ And Jared clicked a button on the phone.

Jensen felt nervous, unsettled.

“Was it any good?” He asked.

“It was beautiful. I can’t believe you wrote that; it was just so – I know you don’t want to gig anymore Jensen but that was really really good.”

“Being my best friend, you are legally required to always find my songs awesome.” Jensen teased, as he made his way to Jared. “Have you uploaded it yet or whatever it is you crazy nerd kids do?”

“Oh. Oh. Yeah, hold on.” Jared turned his attention back to his phone. Eyes inches from the screen as he intently clicked away. “I bet you a steak dinner that you’ll have 200 views by tomorrow morning.”

“I will take that bet.” Jensen replied, going back to pick up his guitar case. “And I am going to pick the most expensive steak place in town, so you’d better break open the piggy bank.”

Jensen lost the bet.

By nine that night, there had been 500 views. A minor actor in a popular Netflix show shared the link to the song on twitter and by midnight the views were at 5000.

By the morning, it was double that.

And at ten a.m., James Corden shared it with a tweet that said he had to get Jensen on his show.

150,000 views by noon.

By the time Jensen paid for his and Jared’s steak dinner, which went cold because of how many times the two were checking their phones, there were a quarter of a million views and a bona fide offer for Jensen to appear on the Late Late Show

Jared hugged him tight as they left the bar, high on beer and YouTube views. “Fuck Jensen, I knew it All of your dreams are going to come true. Every single one of them.”

Jensen hugged Jared back, lifting himself up on tiptoes so he could hug Jared’s neck, pull him close.

Suddenly, the world was filled with possibilities.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared was practically vibrating he was so excited. 

“Do you think it’s okay if we try the food?” Jared asked, hovering over the large spread on a table near the center of the room. They were the only two in the room. Eyes wide, hands shaking slightly, Jared was so wired up he was bouncing on the soles of his feet.

“I think it is why it’s here. I don’t think they mean it for decoration.” 

Actually, having Jared here was helping a lot. Jared was such a big distraction; Jensen was almost forgetting to be terrified.

Jared’s hands reached for what looked to be some kind of fancy cheesy thing, then drew back. “Probably meant for guests. Better not.”

“You are a guest.” Jensen reassured him. He picked the sticky cheesy thing up and handed it to Jared. “My guest. Eat whatever you want.”

Jensen wasn’t even tempted by the food himself, too afraid that he would upchuck onstage if he had a single bite.

“This is good.” Jared’s mouth was full. And he was already reaching for another one when the door opened.

Jared dropped the food as if it was on fire and stepped back from the table. James Corden looked at Jared with his eyebrows raised and then looked at Jensen. He approached Jensen, hand held out. “So, this is the music prodigy.” 

“Mainly I just go by Jensen. “ Jensen replied, shaking his hand. “This is my manager, Jared.”

Jared’s hands were apparently still sticky from the cheese thing. He was wiping them on his pants, frantically. “it’s good to meet me James – I mean you James – Mr Corden – I ah – “

“He doesn’t get out much.” Jensen explained to the host as Jared just stopped talking mid-sentence. He was looking at the floor, clearly embarrassed.

“Have you tried the wine?” James asked Jared, thankfully taking pity on him. “It’s a very good year.”

He handed Jared a glass, Jared gulped it. His face was still pink, his eyes bright as he looked at James. “So good.” 

“Glad to hear it.” James turned his attention back to Jensen. “Jensen you’ll be my first guest tonight. I’ll ask you a few questions about the music, give you a chance to play a bit of one of your songs maybe. I’ve got two other segments tonight, plus my normal shtick so your part will be short and sweet and done. Sound like a plan?”

Jensen wasn’t sure he understood anything that was coming out of James’ mouth. Now that he was no longer focusing on Jared, all he could feel was nervous hysteria bubbling inside of him. “Uh – sure.”

“Great.” James patted him on the shoulder “My stage manager will let you know when it’s time. Until then, enjoy yourself. Been to the city often?” 

“First time.” Jensen replied. “For either of us.”

“I hope you enjoy your time here. If there is anything I can do for you, let my assistant know. She’s great at getting things done.”

With that James left the room.

Jared leaned over him; Jensen startled – he had no idea Jared was so close. “He was awesome, wasn’t he? Just like a real person and everything. Also, this wine is awesome. And the food.”

“How many glasses have you had?” Jensen asked. “it’s been like two minutes.”

Jared held out three fingers. “I like the celebrity life Jensen.”

“Yeah me too.” He gave Jared’s shoulder a squeeze before picking up his guitar again. 

It seemed no time at all, and forever at the same time, before a knock on the door and Jensen was being led to the stage. Jared stayed behind, watching from the huge monitor on the wall of the room. Jensen wished he could have come backstage with him.

“Tonight, we have a special treat. This man has taken YouTube by storm, the newest music sensation – Jensen Ackles.”

There was a thundering of applause. A gentle push at his back. And Jensen was walking out onto the sound stage, trying not to think of all the people watching in the audience, much less all the people the camera represented.

They were still applauding when Jensen sat down. “I’ve seen your video like ten times now.” James was saying, it was hard to hear him from the ringing in Jensen’s ears. “You are quite the songsmith young man. Too bad you are so damn ugly, or you might actually have a shot at a career in music.”

Jensen could feel a slight blush forming. There was laughter from the crowd. “Seriously a male model that sings and writes his own music. Would would have thought?” James asked.

They talked about the song a bit, where Jensen got the inspiration. He found himself talking about Jared, how he and Jared had beat the circuit in their small town to death looking for any kind of break, how geeky Jared was with his instagram and his twitter and how he was so proud of all the views that you’d think he was in front of the camera instead of behind it.

So quickly it took Jensen aback, James was saying “Okay we are about to go to commercial break but before we do, I have a proposition for you Jensen , if you are brave enough to take it on.”

Jensen thought he meant he wanted Jensen to play a bit. He was planning to play a verse of “Yesterday”, just a tease of the song that he was planning to put on YouTube in a few days. “Awesome.” James continued after Jensen’s nod. “I have two more guests which will take me about – say – thirty minutes. You are supposed to be some kind of song writing genius. I want to see what you can write in thirty minutes . Not expecting a whole song of course, just maybe a chorus or a verse or two. Are you up for it?”

Jensen’s mind was flooded with song possibilities. “Sure.” He said, picking the guitar up from beside him. “Let’s do this thing.”

They set him up in a corner and every once a while the camera would flash to him. Jensen bent over his guitar, strumming it quietly, brows furrowed in pretend concentration. He wrote some words on a piece of paper, crossed a few out to sell his pretense of writing. He probably should feel more guilty about this, but he was flying high with the attention of the crowd, many who never turned their eyes to James and his other guests but kept them on Jensen. 

“Okay, thanks everyone for a great show tonight. Tomorrow we have – “ James began. There was a loud uproar from the crowd. “What?” James asked, pretending to be confused. “But we’ve talked to everyone – oh Jensen. Okay Jensen, what do you have for us? You have a whole room full of skeptical people, waiting for you to astonish them.”

“Well,” Jensen replied, standing up and crossing over to James. “it’s not exactly finished, much less polished but – “

He looked past the camera, into the crowd. He couldn’t see but a few faces, right up front, but he had their attention. He had everyone’s attention; he could feel it. It was electric.

_When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be._

_And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom, let it be._

He finished. The room was silent. The man standing beside the camera was counting down with his fingers. James looked at him eyes wide and astonished and then the room burst into applause, people standing and whistling, and James pointed at him and said just as the man’s fingers went three – two – “Ladies and Gentlemen Jensen Ackles!”

Jensen was flying so high; he was sure his feet weren’t touching the ground. He was surrounded by strangers congratulating him, James patted him on his back and told him ‘good job’, but all he could think about was seeing the expression on Jared’s face. As soon as politely possible, he made his way to the green room and was immediately engulfed by Jared’s long arms.

“Fuck Jensen!” Jared exclaimed, squeezing Jensen so hard that for a moment Jensen couldn’t breathe. “That was fucking amazing!”

Jared pulled away from Jensen and Jensen was momentarily distracted by the way Jared’s eyes (pale green at the moment) were sparkling, his cheeks were flushed. Part of it was the wine sure, but Jensen knew that Jared was just this happy because something good had happened to Jensen.

“It was fucking amazing.” Jensen agreed. “Why don’t we go out and celebrate?”

“Fuck yeah.” 

The door opened and two women came in, Jensen got a flash of lots of bosom and lots of leg before one of them approached him, business card in hand. “Hello Jensen. It’s okay if we call you Jensen, right?”

The other woman interjected, handing Jared a card as well. Jared frowned at it, obviously trying to get his eyes and mind to focus on the writing. “Of course, it is. We are going to be good friends.”

“Um – yeah?” Jensen hadn’t meant for it come out as a question, but he had no idea what was going on. The card read Master Rhodes Talent Agency.

The dark haired one threw her arm around the blonde’s shoulder. “We are your new managers.”

“I uh- “ Jensen stared at the ladies, one of whom going by the names on the card had to be Kim and the other Briana and then turned toward Jared. “He already has that job.”

“And I am sure he did a very fine job when you were in the minor leagues baby, but this is the major leagues.”

“He’s a very good manager.” Jensen felt a bit insulted on Jared’s behalf.

“Can he get you in the studio by next week? Cause we can. Also, if you play your cards right and we will ensure you do, by the end of the month you can be playing in a little venue we like to call Madison Square Garden. Now Jared here is cute and all, but can he do any of that for you?”

“I’ve got a manager.” Jensen repeated, although his heart had literally skipped several beats at hearing the words Madison Square Garden. He tried to hand the card back to the blonde woman.

“Jensen, no.” Jared was giving his card to Jensen. “They can do things for you I can’t. I’m just a fifth-grade math teacher, these ladies are the real thing. A record deal Jensen, it’s what you’ve always dreamed of.”

“See, cute and smart.” The blonde patted Jared’s shoulder, than gave it a squeeze. Jared gave her a lop-sided grin. “So, what do you say Jensen? Ready to play with real ballers or do you still want to hang out in the minor leagues?”

“I guess I’m in.” Jensen found himself saying.

“Great. There’s a bar down the street, let’s head there and hammer out some details, shall we? You are the going to be the biggest fucking thing since Elvis, and we will make damn sure that happens for you. For a tiny percentage of the profits of course.”

“Jared and I were going to – “ Jensen began, as one of them grabbed his hand and was tugging him to the door. She was surprisingly strong.

“I’m a bit tired anyway.” Jared said, putting down the wine glass. “I think I’ll just call an Uber and head back to the hotel.”

“Are you sure?” Jensen asked.

“Sure, I’ll see you tomorrow. Fuck Jensen, I’m so happy for you.” Jared smiled at him and Jensen tried to respond but by now the woman had managed to drag him halfway down the hallway. Jensen’s last glimpse of Jared was him standing in the doorway, hand raised in goodbye.


	4. Chapter 4

Working in a studio was exhilarating and scary and awkward and everything Jensen had ever dreamed of played out in a way he had never imagined.

Every night he wrote out the lyrics by memory to another song. Sometimes he had to struggle. Sometimes he was pretty damn sure he had gotten one or more of the words wrong, but the beat and the melody and the intent were all still there. 

Every now and then something would happen, and he would turn to tell Jared and Jared wouldn’t be there

It had been a long day at the studio. Richard, the producer, had wanted to change the lyrics of “Hey Jude” to “Hey Dude” (seriously what kind of name is Jude? he asked). Briana was all for it. Jensen was unable to explain the song was written for John’s son Julian but held his ground anyway. They fought about it until everyone was so frustrated that they called it a day. Jensen bought himself a six pack and headed to the hotel, ignoring everyone’s request to hang out.

He sat in the hotel room the studio had rented for him and drank one beer after another.

He missed his parents.

He missed his friends.

He missed his Jared.

He picked up the phone and called him, finishing the fifth beer as the phone rang.

Jared answered, voice sleep rough and confused. “Jensen? Is something wrong?”

Jensen snorted. “What could be wrong? I’m out here living the dream.” Somebody else’s dream, a voice whispered in the back of his head. Fuck that voice. He could drown out that voice. He had another beer around here somewhere. He stood up, knocking a few empty cans over and hitting his knee against the end table, which hadn’t been there before Jensen was pretty sure. “Fuuuuuuuuckkkk.”

“Are you drunk dialing me?” Asked a voice from the other end of the phone he was holding to his ear. Jared. Fuck, he had forgotten he was talking to him.

“……….No?” Jensen responded.

Jared laughed, full-throttle and loud. Jensen could picture him, eyes bright, head tilted back, gorgeous. Wait, what? Shit, he really had too much to drink if he was thinking things like that about his best friend.

“Look Jensen, I’d love to drunk chat with you, but I have to be up in four hours to get ready to teach math to kids who don’t want to learn math so – “

“Shit sorry. Sorry Jared. I just – I am – I miss you.” Jensen sat right down in the floor, in the middle of the empty beer cans, smack dab in the center of the fanciest hotel room he had ever stayed in and he had never felt so lost and alone. “I miss you.” He repeated.

Jared’s voice was soft. “I miss you too. But I am so happy for you. You are going to be famous Jensen, and I am going to say I knew you when. You will have so many friends and hangers on and posses that you won’t even remember me.”

Jensen chuckled; phone pushed tight against his ear. “Posses.”

“Lots and lots of posses.” Jared giggled, the sound a salve to Jensen’s weary heart. “When you play at Madison, I’ll be on the front row cheering you on. But for now, you re where you are meant to be.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Jensen was trying to decide if it was too much trouble to stand up again, much less make his way to his bed. He was suddenly so sleepy. “Night Jared, I’m sorry I woke you.”

“I’m not. It was good to hear from you. Night Jensen.”

Jensen woke up in bed the next afternoon, one foot dangling off of one side, one sock on and one off. When he found his phone, after making a very unpleasant trip to the bathroom, it was dead. As he plugged in the charger, there was a banging on the door.

“Fuck, knock quietly.” Jensen grumbled as he pulled open the door. He was still wearing the same clothes he had worn the night before.

It was Kim. “About tucking time.” She growled, pushing her way into the room. “And why aren’t you answering your damn phone?”

Jensen pointed to the phone. “Dead.”

“Well by the smell of things, that’s not the only thing that’s dead in here.” Kim complained. “You are late to the studio; the car was sent two hours ago and no you. We even had someone from the hotel knock on the door but still no you. This is unacceptable behavior Jensen. You are not allowed to act like a fucking rock star, until you are bringing in the money that a fucking rock star makes. Now get that fine ass of yours in gear, take a shower and we are going to the studio.”

Jensen felt ashamed . People were depending on him and he had let them down. 

“I’m really sorry – “ 

“Save it for the producer. Just get in that shower.” Kim began picking up beer cans and throwing them into the too small for such a big mess trashcan. “Oh, and there’s some obnoxious man at the studio, says he’s your roadie.”

“I don’t have a roadie.” Jensen frowned. He was picking out a shirt to wear, one out of the many band t-shirts he owned. 

“We tried telling him that. His name is Tad – or –“

“Chad? Chad is here?” Jensen asked, suddenly a bit more alert.

“I guess. Go get showered before I take a bar of soap to you myself.” Kim ordered.

Jensen obeyed.

It turned out it was Chad. After a few minutes of groveling, and a few hours of recording, Jensen found himself at a fast food hamburger joint eating greasy hamburgers and way too salty French fries with Chad.

“Jared said you were lonely.” Chad explained, mouth full. “And Sophie kicked me out, so….”

“Again?” Asked Jensen, dipping one of the fries in ketchup. “Isn’t this like the fourth time?”

“She says I’m immature and can’t hold down a job.” Chad complained, slurping noisily on his coke. “Can you imagine?”

“Not in the least.” It was nice having a piece of home with him. He wasn’t Jared, but he was Jared adjacent and Jensen felt so much better than the night before.

“So, I figure, I’ll be your roadie. Rub elbows with all the glamorous people and prove I can hold down a job. Sophie can suck it.” Chad not-quite eloquently added.

“Here’s to the glamorous life.” They clicked their plastic cups together.

“That song was good today. “Ticket to Ride”? “ Chad added. “I know a few chicks like that, dated some, lived with one.”

“Uh thanks.” Jensen said, suddenly uncomfortable.

“You have really been hiding your talent under a bushel. To think I’m been listening to songs like “Safety Pin” and all this time you’ve had the ability to write shit like this.”

“I’m actually quite proud of “Safety Pin”.” Jensen argued, hoping to change the subject off of how good of a writer he suddenly was. “It’s a metaphor for – “

“For suckiness.” Chad interrupted. “Whatcha singing tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow is Saturday. No recording until Tuesday, Rich has a thing and won’t be back until then.”

“Cool, we can hang out. By the way, I’m staying with you. Until you pay me, I’m dead broke.” Chad went on, finishing the last bite of his triple cheeseburger. “”I can help you pick which songs to record, “Safety Pin” is definitely out.”

“Safety Pin” was definitely out. He had played it for Richard, Rich had hated it. But there was no way Jensen was going to tell Chad that. “Actually, there are a pair of songs that – “

He stopped.

How could a small-town Texas boy know anything about Penny Lane? Had even heard of a place called Strawberry Fields? 

“What is it?” Chad asked. “Was the burger bad because your face looks like the burger was bad.”

Jensen picked up his phone, preparing to call Briana or Kim. “How would you like to take a trip with me to England?”


	5. Chapter 5

“If you see this dumbass in Liverpool, tell him he needs to be writing.” Jensen read Briana’s tweet as they were sitting at the airport, waiting for the plane to board. She had attached a picture of Jensen singing in the studio.

Chad giggled. “Now the whole twitterverse thinks you are crazy.” He said, as he bent over his own phone, typing away to someone. “And they are right.”

“I told you I just saw the name of this street – “

“Yeah, yeah. You saw Penny Lane while doing random searches on Google Maps. You think it’s a pretty name for a song. You decide you have to visit it for real so your muse can do whatever. Blah blah and more blah.” Chad never looked up from his phone.

“I wonder what they ended up calling the character in “Almost Famous.” Jensen mused.

“What now?” Chad asked.

“The movie. You know Cameron Crowe the early years, the kid falling in love with the groupie?” 

Chad just looked at him blankly. “You are speaking a language I know not of.”

“Come on seriously. There’s the bus ride where they all start singing “Tiny Dancer”.”

“Oh Elton, he’s a good one. No idea what you are going on about the rest of it.”

Jensen googled “Almost Famous” – just articles about up and coming wannabes. Googled Cameron Crowe – nada.

He had already found out that cigarettes did not exist in this new reality, but marijuana did and was legal. Every time he found something that he remembered but no one else did, he felt a little more off kilter.

“Hey pretty boy, wake up. We are boarding. Never flew first class before. I wonder if they give out those drinks with the little umbrellas.” Chad chattered on as they boarded the plane.

Liverpool was cool and wet. Penny Lane was the least prosaic place Jensen had ever visited, yet he made sure to ohh and ahh, he posted a pic of him and Chad and added a remark about how visiting Liverpool made him nostalgic for a simpler time. 

After he posted, he turned around to see a young woman, pretty, with red hair watching him rather intently. She smiled at him. Someone walked between them, and then she was gone.

It unnerved Jensen, not that his nerves were all that steady to begin with.

He made sure they stumbled upon Strawberry Fields, which luckily was open to visitors, and raved what a good title it would be for a song. He and Chad hit a pub where Chad was the center of attention. Jensen asked if anyone ever heard of a Paul McCartney or a Ringo Starr or John or George but all he received in answer were blank faces. 

He also asked if they had ever heard of a place called the Cavern and was not shocked when no one had.

They were walking back to the hotel after the pub, more than a little drunk. They had an early flight the next day, drinking was probably not their smartest move, but they had met some very nice people. A couple of them had seen his YouTube video and Jensen had even sang a bit of “Hey Jude” and the first verse of “Penny Lane”, pretending to have just written it that day. He was given free drinks for the songs. Chad was given free drinks for being Chad. As a result, neither one of them was walking that well.

There was a couple walking in front of them, hand in hand, bodies close. The tall one, almost as tall as Jared maybe, leaned down and kissed his partner, stopping right in the middle of the sidewalk, not seeing or not caring that he and Chad were walking right up to them. The other man put his hands on the taller’s guys neck, pulling him closer, and Jensen was trying not to stare, he really was but it was just – in the midst of the ever present drizzle, in the early hours of the morning, in the middle of a country he was a stranger to, he witnessed a beautiful honest moment between two people and if he really was a good song writer, he’d be able to write a song that captured what he was feeling.

God, he missed Jared.

They passed the couple and walked into the hotel. Chad either didn’t see them or didn’t think enough of what he saw to comment, and Jensen was glad. He didn’t feel like talking. As they walked into the lobby, he saw a flash of red hair. He turned around quickly, but she was gone.

They landed at Dallas Airport at 5:30 the following night, tired and cranky.

To find out the flight from Dallas to LA had been delayed.

“Fuck.” Chad said. “We are using that fancy credit card your managers gave you to book a hotel. I am not waiting in this crappy airport.”

Jensen looked at the time of the next flight. It was a 7 hour delay.

He looked at his watch.

He thought about Jared – just an hour and a half away.

He could rent a car. He could drive out to where Jared was. He could tell him – he could – he could see Jared.

Jensen pulled out his wallet “Here, dinner’s on me. I’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?” Chad asked, and then his eyes widened. “No, no way.”

“I’ll be back in time, I promise. There is just something I need to do.”

“Like you needed to go to Liverpool?” Chad grabbed Jensens’s arm and pulled him aside. “You are not going off without me. If you don’t make that flight, those crazy women will have my balls in a vise. And I like my balls the way they are.”

It took too long to get the rental car and Jensen could feel his precious time falling away. They could do a later flight – or an early morning one – but then he’d be late to the recording studio and he couldn’t waste people’s time and money again. He’d just have to make it quick.

It made no sense; Jensen could admit it to himself. He could call Jared, he could snap chat or whatever the hell that was, there were video things that Chad could show him how to do. But he had to see him. He just - he needed to see him.

Chad had decided to surprise Sophie. Knowing the way the two had left things, Jensen wasn’t sure Chad surprising her was the best plan but really – he’d be away, and Jensen would get to talk to Jared alone.

It was a long drive with heavy traffic and slow drivers but finally Jensen was able to leave the freeway and head to his hometown of Walker.

He dropped Chad off at Sophie’s apartment before heading to the small house Jared lived in. A half a mile. A few blocks. He could see it now.

Matt’s car was pulling out of Jared’s driveway. He slowed down, trying to bite down the jealousy he felt because why on earth would he ever be jealous of Matt? He was just a bit sad that Jared had replaced him as a best friend, that’s all. He stalled long enough that Matt’s car turned the corner before making his way down the rest of the street and turning into the driveway himself.

He had less than an hour before he’d have to make the long drive back.

“Jensen!” Jared was so happy to see him, so unabashedly excited that Jensen’s heart felt six times lighter. Jared drew him into a hug and Jensen drank in the feel of being cocooned, drank in Jared’s familiar earthy scent. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in England.”

“Just got back. Connecting flight got delayed, thought I’d drop in.” He reluctantly stepped away from Jared.

“Drop in? The airport is like two hours away. Man, you’ve got to be exhausted. Sit down, sit down. I’ll get you a beer. Is Chad with you? How was England?”

In typical Jared fashion he was jumping from one topic to another without giving Jensen a chance to answer. None of this was what Jensen wanted to talk about anyway. 

“You look good.” Jensen said, taking the beer from Jared. Then realized what he said. “I mean, it’s good to see you. I’ve missed you man.”

“You look like you haven’t slept for a week. Burning the candle at both ends huh?” Jared perched at the edge of the couch, facing Jensen. “I want to hear everything about everything. We never seem to get to talk much and when I text you I get like a one-word response back.”

“I can’t type on these little things.” Jensen grumbled, indicating his phone.

Jared laughed. For several minutes they talked about England and Chad and how Jared had set up a peer tutoring program at his school. Their conversation didn’t have the easy rhythm it used to, but it still soothed the ache Jensen had been feeling for weeks.

“I wish you could come to LA with me. I could really use you there.” Jensen blurted out, right in the middle of Jared describing a PTA meeting that had went horribly wrong.

“You have a manager.” Jared’s cheeks were pink, like he was flustered. “Two in fact, you don’t need me.”

“No, not to manage. Just so we can – I need you just to – be there.” He wasn’t making any sense; he couldn’t get out the words right. Some writer he was.

“You need me to what Jensen?” Jared asked. “Why do you need me exactly?”

The silence lengthened. Jensen felt there was a right thing to say, he just didn’t know how to say it.

“You know, to hang out with. Tell me if my songs are any good. Make sure I have enough steak in my diet. That kind of thing.”

Jared turned his face away from Jensen. When he turned around, his smile was careful. Jensen knew right then he had said the wrong thing.

“My life is here Jensen. My work is here. My friends are here.” Jared looked down at his hands, which he was twisting in his lap. He stilled them and then looked back at Jensen. “I’m dating Matt.”

The beer almost slipped out of Jensen’s suddenly numb fingers. He put the beer carefully on the end table. “Matt? I thought he was – you never seemed to be – “

“Into him? “ Jared supplied. He stood up, picked up the beer. “I wasn’t. I was into someone else. But not all dreams are meant to come true, no matter how much you want them. Matt is a nice guy; I could grow to love him.”

Jensen watched as Jared drained the rest of the beer in one gulp.

“Learn to? Why would you need to learn to?”

“Because I can’t have what I have always wanted.” Jared sounded almost angry. “You can’t be that obtuse Jensen.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about!“ 

There was the sound of screeching tires outside. A car door. A woman’s voice, loud and shrill.

“Just go Jensen. Go back to your dream life. I wish you happiness, I really, truly do. But your life isn’t mine, not anymore.” Jared kissed him on the cheek just as the door flew open. Jensen stepped back, almost guiltily and he caught the look of hurt in Jared’s eyes. “Goodbye Jensen.”

It sounded final. It sounded like something ending.

Chad looked from one to the other. He reeked of sex and booze and his jeans were unzipped. “What did I miss?”


	6. Chapter 6

The guilt had been a niggle in the back of his mind since this whole thing began, but now, since the visit with Jared, it had bloomed into a living breathing creature that squirmed deep inside of him.

He was a fraud.

There was no way to sugarcoat it, he was receiving money and kudos and he was going to play Madison Fucking Garden and none of it was because of him.

He tried justifying it – the music needed to be heard. The world would be a sadder place without the Beatles’ songs in it.

But at the end of the day, he was still a fraud.

And he missed Jared. No calls, no texts, radio silence.

He had tried calling a few times, but always hung up before the phone began to ring. What could he say?

He wasn’t sleeping. He was barely eating.

Was this what it was like to have all your dreams come true?

The album was finished, and Jensen was performing at an invite only function for music publishers, elite press, EW was there, People, Time.

Sitting on a stool on the raised platform masquerading as a stage, Jensen tried to melt his doubts away. The crowd was waiting, voices hushed in anticipation. He was playing for people who wanted to hear him play. From the time he was ten, this was all he had ever wanted. It was his dream. It was enough. It had to be.

He played a mini set of songs. “Hey Jude”. “Ticket to Ride”. There was applause after every song, smiles, whistles. He could see a few people had their phones discreetly out, although it was forbidden to film his performance.

“This song isn’t on this album, but if y’all like it, it might be in the next one.” Jensen said, taking a quick drink of water and handing the bottle back to Chad.

“Let’s get this one out first!” Briana yelled from the corner of the room where she was holding court.

There was laughter and then Jensen began playing…

_Something in the way she moves_

The room was small, the lights were on, he was sitting on a raised platform so he had a pretty good view of the crowd. That’s when he saw her – the same petite pretty red-haired girl from Liverpool.

And she was mouthing the words to the song.

_Attracts me like no other lover_

His hands moved on his guitar automatically, the words flowing from him on auto pilot. But inside he was panicking. This song wasn’t on the album, there was no way it could have been leaked. He hadn’t sung it to anyone, not even his friends back home. Not even to Jared.

_Something In the way she woos me_

He was staring at her so intently, a few people’s heads turned to see what he was looking at. He forced himself to look away. When his eyes turned back in her direction, it was no surprise to find her gone.

She knew the words to the song.

She somehow – she knew. 

He searched the room after, it was hard with everyone wanting a moment of his time, to congratulate him, to pat him on the back and tell him what a find he was. Briana and Kim were in their element, praising him to the skies, handing out dozens of business cards.

It took forever, but he had made the circuit. No woman with red hair.

But there was a brunette, tall, slender, achingly pretty. She handed him a beer and he found himself in an adjacent room where it was much quieter.

She was a freelance writer. She thought he was the greatest thing since Rod Stewart, not that she really knew any of Rod’s songs, but her mother had really dug him. 

They were sitting on a couch together. Every once in a while someone from the waiting staff would cross through on their way to the main room.

“I really should get back to it.” Jensen said after several minutes of talking. “It is my party after all.”

“Or we could go back to your hotel.” Sarah said, a finger caressing his upper thigh. “Have our own party.”

“That line ever work for you?” Jensen teased.

“Every. Damn. Time.” She leaned over and she kissed him.

Her lips were soft and warm and inviting. When he pulled her up and drew her close to him her body was pliant and yielding.

A year ago, this would have been his lucky night.

But now – now all he could think about was tall bodies, sharp edges, hurt hazel eyes and he pulled away.

She seemed to realize she already lost. “Raincheck?” She asked, picking up her purse.

“Sure.” He lied.

She had barely left the room when there was a knock and there she was – the woman with red hair.

Jensen sat back down; not sure his legs could hold him. This woman could take everything away from him. This woman could expose him for being the fraud he was.

“Hi, my name is Felicia.” She held out her hand and Jensen shook it, not knowing what else to do. She indicated the chair next to him that Sarah had just vacated. “Mind if I sit?”

“Sure. Go ahead. I have to – I need to get back to the party so – “

“This won’t take long.” Felicia promised. “So, I have a little story for you. One day the universe blessed me with a headache, migraines, I get them sometimes.” Jensen made what he hoped was a sympathetic noise. He needed her to get to the point, but he also didn’t want her to. “Went to bed early. Got up feeling much better, decided to go for a run. Got my earphones out, my music going. It was a pretty day, So I thought hey “Here Comes the Sun” would be perfect for my run – but it’s not there. Checked for “Good Day Sunshine”, not as good but still Beatles – nothing. I think you know where I am going with this.”

“Yeah, I get it.” 

“Flash forward about a week, I hear about this musical prodigy on YouTube, so I had to give a listen. And then I had to track you down, which turned out to be in Liverpool of all places. And now – we’re here.”

“The press is out there if you want to out me as a fraud.” Might as well rip the bandaid right off.

“No, not at all. I am happy the music is being released. I want to run to it again, dance to it. The world deserves to hear it. You are the Beatles’ ambassador, even if it just the two of us who know that.”

“Why are you here then?”

Kim poked her head in. “Jensen, people are leaving, you really need to come say goodbye.”

“It’s okay, I’ll wait for you. I’ve got something you are going to want to see.” Felicia told him.

It seemed to take an eternity to shake everyone’s hand, accept their congratulations. Finally, it was just Briana and Kim left.

“We are going to go celebrate.” Briana informed him, grabbing her things. She had multiple sticky notes attached to her body, phone numbers on many of them. “And I think your little celebration is waiting for you.” She added with a wink.

“Have fun. But not too much fun, rehearsals start tomorrow for Madison.” Kim added.

Jensen made his way back to the room, half expecting Felicia to be gone, but she was still there.

“I know your beat, so I have two things. One – you have the lyric wrong it’s not _You know I believer her now_, it’s _You know I believe and how_.”

“Fuck. I knew that didn’t sound quite right.” Jensen admitted.

“And the second. I am good with computers, kind of a computer nerd really. Since I was in England anyway, I used my skills to track someone down. I also made a little video that only you and I are ever going to see.”

She handed him the phone; a video already set up. Puzzled he pushed play.

He was unmistakable. Older than he had ever gotten to be by decades, his hair white, his back a bit bent. But unmistakable.

“So, would you say you are happy?” Clearly Felicia’s voice from behind the phone.

“Happy? I don’t know. How do you define happy?” His voice was British, frail, familiar. They were in a kitchen, small and cozy. There was a kettle and John was pouring himself tea – also pouring a cup of tea for Felicia . “I’m content, I guess. That’s enough for some, good enough for me.”

“Have you ever pictured living a different life?” Felicia asked.

John shook his head. “That’s a weird writing assignment you’ve got.”

“Human interest stories.” Felicia’s voice. The teacup was picked up, a little slurping sound, put back down. “People eat them up.”

“I was lucky enough to find a woman that loved me, a family that tolerated my idiosyncrasies, children who are the best part of me. My wife used to say the two most important commodities in life were love and laughter, and I was lucky enough to have plenty of both. Never had much of anything else though.“ John drank a bit more of his tea. “I’m content, just like I said. Don’t think I could have asked more from life than I got.”

“I won’t take anymore of your time.” Felicia was standing, the video wobbling a little. “Do you mind if I hug you before I go?”

“You really are a strange one.” But John was standing up too. “Now don’t you get any ideas – “

Felicia’s laughter was the last thing heard before the video ended.

“That was – everything.” Jensen said, unable to find words that even began to explain what he felt. “Did you find any of the others?”

“George is dead, cancer, I guess some things are inevitable sadly, I haven’t found anything on Ringo – er Richard. I did find a lead on Paul but after my meeting with John I just thought – I’d let him be. If you pardon my French.” Felicia said with a wry smile. She was standing up, putting her phone in her purse. 

“Thank you for this, and for not ratting me out.”

“I’m going to hug you too, cause that’s just the type of girl I am.” The hug was surprisingly tender, and Felicia pulled away with a smile. “Goodbye Jensen, I’ll be the one yelling for you the loudest at Madison.”

It was another sleepless night for Jensen. All he could think of was the twinkle in John’s eyes as he talked about his wife, his children, his life.

Love and laughter.

Jared laughing at his bad jokes. Jared standing up and clapping and cheering for him while everyone else politely clapped at yet another wedding reception.

Jared looking at him with love in his eyes, when he had been too blind, too self-absorbed to see it,

Jared.

It was four in the morning when he gave up sleeping and pulled out his laptop. It was time to make plans.


	7. Chapter 7

He really thought he’d be more nervous.

But now that the night was here – he felt a strange sense of calmness.

He was doing the right thing, doing the right _things_ to be exact.

Chad came into his dressing room – typical Chad, no knock, just barging in. “He’s here.” He announced.

“Well?” Jensen asked, swiveling in his chair to face him.

“Yeah he brought Matt. They are out in the front row holding hands.” Chad made a face. It was all of Jensen’s self control not to make the same one. He was an adult after all.

At least they weren’t kissing.

“Bring them back.” Jensen requested. He stood up. He had done all the fussing about his appearance he intended to do.

A few minutes later Jared and Matt walked in. Jared was smiling, maybe a little more guarded than he normally was, but still happy to see Jensen. Matt looked decidedly less so. They were no longer holding hands.

“Chad said we should come back here.” Jared was biting his lower lip in that nervous habit he had. “I hope it’s okay. “

“Yes, of course. I want to talk to you. Both of you.” Jensen added, indicating Matt. “Why don’t we all have a seat?”

“I’m glad it’s all right for us to be here.” Jared said as he sat down. “I never know if Chad is telling the truth or playing an elaborate prank. Sophie is here by the way. If you hear an explosion mid-performance, they’d be the cause.”

Jared seemed to be relaxing a bit, more like his normal self.

“You had something to talk to us about?” Matt prompted.

“Yeah.” Jensen sat beside Jared in the love seat. Matt still stood leaning against the wall, arms folded. “I really don’t know how to ease into this conversation, so I am just going to spit it out. “ He turned to more fully face Jared. “I’m an idiot.”

“Okay.” Jared replied slowly. 

Jensen looked at Matt. Several emotions were flickering across his face, and Jensen could tell he sensed where this conversation was going.

“I wanted Matt to be here, because he’s part of this too.”

“I’m really not.” Matt pulled away from the wall and took a few steps toward Jared. “Jared, I know you were with me just because you thought you couldn’t have him.”

Jared opened his mouth to say something, but Matt shook his head. “I knew it from the beginning, I came into this relationship eyes wide open. I thought maybe, with time – but I see the way you look at him and it will never be the way you look at me.”

“But Jensen isn’t – he’s not – Matt, I never meant to hurt you or lead you on.” Jared sounded distressed. Jensen stood up and walked to the other side of the room to give them privacy. Matt took his seat.

“I know. I’m not blaming you. You are who I thought I wanted. But the truth is, I was in love with a fantasy and maybe it’s time I found a real, living person to love.” Matt took Jared’s hands in his and squeezed them. “I wish you everything Jared, all the good things in the world that there are.”

Matt stood up, there were tears in his eyes. To Jensen he demanded “Don’t fuck this up.” 

And then he walked out of the room.

Jensen approached the love seat again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t bring him here for that. I just wanted to be honest with you.”

“It seems to be the night for it.” Jared ran his fingers through his hair and blinked back tears. “Jensen, if this is another rejection, I can’t really deal with it right now. Reject me tomorrow okay?”

“This isn’t a rejection, it’s the opposite. I realized something – I’ve been chasing the wrong dream. I thought I wanted – this.” Jensen waved a hand at the room, the trappings. “But I discovered that I left behind the one thing I really wanted.”

“Are you talking about my friendship, cause you know you’ll always have that.” Jared stated, eyes not quite meeting Jensen’s.

Jensen knelt in front of Jared, gently touching his cheek and hazel eyes meet green. He took Jared’s head in his hands and gently pulled his head toward him. Jared’s eyes closed just as their lips met. The kiss was soft, gentle, a bare flicker of a promise. When Jensen pulled away, Jared’s eyes were open wide.

“I thought you were straight.” Jared said after a moment. “I thought I never had a chance.”

“I guess we were both wrong.” Jensen said, feeling lighter than he had in years. “I hate to kiss and run, but I have a concert to perform. I am going to do something pretty – stupid is probably the right word, but it’s also the right thing to do. You’ll know when I do it. Afterwards I want to go somewhere, just us two.”

Jared reached in his pocket and pulled out a key card and handed it to Jensen. It was for a nearby hotel. “Room 1442, I’ll be waiting for you after.”

This time it was Jared who initiated the kiss, strong arms pulling Jensen to him. The kiss was firmer, lasted a little longer. Left them both a little breathless.

“Later.” A promise made.

Jensen waited in the wings, listening as he was being introduced. He knew Jared was in the front row and Felicia was out there somewhere. Chad was waiting on the other side of the stage, phone in hand. Sophie was with Chad, her hand in one of his back pockets. 

“Jensen Ackles!”

Jensen walked on to the stage to thundering applause, so loud that for a moment he couldn’t hear anything, it was as if the sound had engulfed him whole. He could make out a few faces in the crowd, the lights obscured most of them. Jared was front row center, sitting, shoulders hunched so not to obscure anyone’s view. Jensen’s eyes met his and Jared winked at him. Jensen felt s surge of strength tinged with want.

The band, a group of musicians hand picked by Rich and including Rich on guitar started a count – I 2 3

_She was just 17, you know what I mean_

_And the way she looked was way beyond compare_

The crowd was still going wild, and Jensen let himself be in this moment, be the fucking rock star he had always wanted to be. Adored, worshipped, wanted.

_I’ll never dance with another_

_Since I saw you standing there_

These lines to Jared who was practically bouncing out of his seat. Matt was in the chair beside him, arms once again crossed, not a hint of a smile.

The applause after the song ended went on for a good five minutes. Jensen tried speaking three times before he could be heard.

“To the woman who showed me the light, even if she doesn’t know it yet.”

Jared frowned a bit about that dedication, but Jensen would explain it later.

_Here comes the sun (doo doo doo)_

_Here comes the sun, and I say_

_It's all right _

He couldn’t see Felicia in the crowd, but he knew she was there.

Most of the crowd had never sat down.

He felt invincible in the moment. Like he could accomplish anything. One look into his love’s eyes and he knew that it was true.

The song ended to even longer applause.

“I am dedicating the next song to the man who has waited far too long for me to get my head out of my ass. Jared, I love you. I always have.”

There was a collective ahh from the audience and Jensen stood in the middle of the stage, playing alone.

_There are places I remember_

_All my life. though some have changed_

_Some forever, not for better_

_Some are gone, and some remain_

Jared had risen and made his way to the aisle where he could stand. He was beautiful, magnificent, the stage lights casting shadows over him.

_But of all the friends and lovers _

_There are no one compares with you_

_And these memories lose their meaning_

_When I think of love as something new_

A camera found Jared, his face, smile as wide as the sea, displayed on the big screen. The crowd sensing this is the man Jensen was singing to were cheering and clapping. 

_Though I know I’ll never lose affection_

_For people and things that went before_

_I know I’ll often stop and think about them_

_In my life, I’ll love you more._

It was the culmination of every dream Jensen had ever had. The crowd was with him, rooting for him, cheering him on. It was a wave of joy and happiness that Jensen had never thought he’d experience.

_In my life, I’ll love you more_

The rapturous applause was at a crescendo. 

For a moment, for a long, luxurious moment Jensen stood center stage and bathed in – all of it. 

Then, as the crowd settled down, clearly waiting for the next song. Jensen made his request.

“Can we turn the house lights on please?”

There was a moment, then it happened. Jensen now could see a sea of happy, slightly confused faces. Jared was still in the aisle, staring up at him.

“This has been a dream of mine – since forever. And I thank you all, for being here to experience this with me. And a very special thanks to everyone who worked so hard to bring me here. But the truth is – this, this music, was someone else’s legacy, not mine. I don’t know how to explain this in a way that makes any sense, but this music never belonged to me. “

Chad moved closer to the stage. The band was looking at him like he had gone crazy. Jensen was sure everyone would think he had.

“The music rightfully belongs to everyone, to share, to revel in, to be a part of their lives. So as of right now, the album has been released. The music is free, free for you to download, to make your own version of.” Jensen looked over at Chad. Chad pushed a button on his phone and nodded. Jensen could hear shrieking backstage and knew his time was up.

“Thank you everyone, I hope you enjoy the music.”

Jensen took off the guitar and gave it to Chad and then took a few steps back, making a running jump to land almost directly in front of Jared.

Damn, he was good.

Jared was laughing “I can’t believe you just did that.”

Jensen grabbed Jared’s hand and pulled him toward the exit. There was chaos, people shouting, some heading for the exits too, many typing on their phones, searching for the songs. “I’d like to use that room key now.” He yelled as they made a run for the parking lot.

Six Years Later

He woke up to the sound of music.

No, not music.

Giggling

It was almost always the giggling that woke him up.

Lucy and James knew better than to enter the room without permission, so they were standing right outside the door, daring each other to knock, giggling like crazy.

Same as every other morning.

Jensen nudged Jared. “Your children require your attention.”

Jared opened one bleary eye then snuggled closer to Jensen, resting his head on Jensen’s shoulder. “Why is it at 6:45 on a Saturday they are my children and every other time they are our children?”

“Because one of us has to work today, and that would not be you.” Jensen nudged his husband’s head off his shoulder and made a big production out of snuggling into the covers. “Now go get your children so I can get some sleep.”

Jared slipped off the bed, “Sure thing, you go ahead and sleep.”

Jensen knew right then he was in trouble

A few seconds later the door was thrown open. “Get him!” Was all the impetus the children needed.

Two four-year olds with more limbs than should have been possible were suddenly on top of him, loud laughter in his ear, bodies squirming and poking him in the ribs. 

“Papa, sing us a song!” Lucy ordered.

When both eggs turned out to be viable, they had made an agreement never to find out which child they had each fathered. But looking into Lucy’s puppy dog eyes, pleading with him, it was pretty darn obvious whose genes she carried. James’ eyes were a darker green, his manner more reserved and – Jensen was sure he would hate him for this later – he had freckles.

“Yeah Papa please.”

Jared handed him the guitar, smug smile on his face. “Papa would be love to sing for us since he’s awake anyway.”

Jensen had to be at work later in the day. He worked at a bar his friend Chris owned, played there too with Chris and his band. They played Beatles and other cover songs and some original compositions. They were never going to get signed, never going to go anywhere, but they had a loyal local following and that was enough.

Jensen also taught seminars at the local university about the Beatles and their music. They had found one other person who remembered and between him, Felicia and Jeff they managed to figure out the lyrics to most of the Beatles songs. He enjoyed teaching the seminars, he never dreamed one day he’d be a teacher just like his geeky husband.

Jared had spent three years as a stay at home father. He was now back to teaching reluctant children the joys of mathematics.

“Song!” Lucy reminded him, bringing him back into the now.

_Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace_

_Molly is the singer in the band_

The children shrieked with joy, clapping their hands_._

Love and laughter

_Oh-la-di, Ob-la-da, life goes on_

_La-la how the life goes on_

The children were singing with him, loud and off-key, just like their Daddy.

In a few moments, they’ll go down for breakfast. Jared will make them all pancakes in funny shapes; Jensen will clean up afterwards. They will take the kids to the park, feed the ducks, enjoy the sunshine.

_In a couple of years they have built_

_A Home sweet home_

_A couple of kids running in the yard_

_Of Desmond and Molly Jones_

Jared leaned over and kissed him.

“Eww, Daddy.” They kids said in unison. “Sing Papa.”

“Yeah Papa sing.” Jared chimed in

_Happy ever after in the market place_

_Papa lets the children lend a hand_

_Daddy stays at home and does his pretty face – _

“That’s it. Tackle him kids.” Jared growled, even though he was grinning wide.

Now all three were on top of him, one impossibly big and heavy, two small and squirmy and Jensen’s heart was so full, he thought it might burst.

It turned out the dreams really could come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this story, I hope you enjoyed reading it Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated Now I am off to rock out to some Beatles’ music :)


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